Of Wolves and Snakes
by S-Blood-M-Traitor-O
Summary: Remus Lupin sits at Grimmauld Place when Snape shows up to jeer... dueling and flashbacks ensue. Rated M to be safe. set during HBP.PLEASE REVIEW!
1. Chapter 1

Grimmauld Place was as gloomy as it had ever been. The windows, so grimy one could hardly see through the smoky glass, were beginning to collect steam as the large dank parlor warmed up by the light of a weak fire in the massive stone fireplace. Fog rolled carelessly outside, giving the house a choked enclosed feeling. Anyone who was inside the house felt as if they couldn't leave.

Of course, the house didn't have to be this way. Looking at the grand architecture, one could see that in its day it had been grand, but now so neglected, uninhabited since the death of its owner.

In the parlor, sitting in one of the large musty armchairs sat Remus Lupin, flipping slowly through an old book, pages yellowed with age by the flickering light of the fire. A half full glass of fire whiskey sat on the small coffee table in front of him. He was there on duty that night for the Order of the Phoenix. He had tried to protest, but no one else could take the time. Arthur and Molly were busy. Kingsley was on duty protecting the muggle Prime Minister. It was painful being in Sirius' house since his death. The house, so gloomy even when Sirius was alive, was even more melancholy now that he was gone. Remus had spent so much time in this house; he kept expecting Sirius to come out of the darkness and say something humorous.

But he had to come to grips with the fact that his best friend was gone, and with him, the happiness and light that now only haunted the endless quiet of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place.

And besides, tonight was going to be a full moon. He was safe in the house. It was so magically well protected, there was no way to hurt anyone but himself, and that was important. It might as well be him on duty tonight. He didn't really mind. He would read until the moon rose, and then curl up for the next few days and let himself heal. It was routine now. Nothing new.

But that wasn't entirely true. No, there was something new. A certain purple haired metamorphamagus who kept flitting in and out of his thoughts. Nymphadora Tonks.

It was nothing at first. It should have been nothing still, but it was not. It was more.

He had always found her amusing, cute even. She had a childlike glow about her that never ceased to bring a smile to his face. It had been he and Alastor Moody that had taken her on her first Order Assignment. She had been so enthusiastic, so excited, and then sobbed like a baby when she realized they were investigating the murders of muggle children.

But that was Tonks. She wore her heart on her sleeve. She had a comedic element that always could somehow light up the room, whether she was changing the proportions of her face, or tripping over something. Remus had a hard time not laughing when he was around her.

That was how it was supposed to stay. Afterall, he was almost ten years her senior. She should have had no interest in him whatsoever. But the night Sirius died, he was sitting in Saint Mungo's watching her sleep. The healers said she had sustained some rather serious internal burns from Belltrix's curse, but she would be all right in time.

It was during that small time when Remus sat alone with her while she slept, that he realized that she was beautiful. Perhaps it was because when she slept, her hair and face turned back to normal. No pink hair, no pig snout, just a young girl. Her hair was a nice shade of brown, not extravagant or especially stylish, but pretty. She had a heart shaped face that really was put off by her usually vibrant hair. Just pretty.

That night, she had looked so pathetic, so helpless. When she awoke, he was the first thing she saw, and she begged him to check her out and take her home. She said all she wanted was to see her mother, but he said no. He couldn't let her leave without the healer's permission, and she was weak as it was.

"_Will you stay with me?" she had begged. _

_His face softened. "Until morning." He said. "Then I have to go back underground."_

"_What do you do underground?" she asked, her hair taking on its old shade of violent pink. _

"_Dangerous things." He whispered, stroking her cheek. She was getting ready to go to sleep again. Her large dark eyes were drooping. "Go to sleep, Nymphadora. You need it. In the morning, your parents will come to take you home." She yawned, and held his hand. _

_In the middle of the night, she woke up sweating, and shaking, crying. Remus jolted awake and took her hands. _

"_What's the matter, Tonks?" he asked urgently. "Shall I get a healer?"_

_She looked confused, as if she had had a nightmare. _

"_No." she said absently. "It's just…he's really dead, isn't he?" The look on his face said enough. Her shoulders slumped, and she leaned against him. Remus immediately tried to pull away, but she was so warm, so little. Gently, he patted her back while she nuzzled her head into his shoulder. _

"_I'm sorry, Nymphadora." He said quietly. "He died a hero's death." _

"_He was my favorite cousin." She whispered, tears spilling out of her eyes. _

_They stood like that in the dark for several minutes, when Remus held her away from him. _

"_You should sleep, Tonks." He said. "It's nearly morning."_

_She looked at him, and pulled him towards the bed. _

"_Will you lay by me for a minute?"_

"_I can't, Tonks. It's not appropriate."_

"_It's just laying." _

_And before he knew it, he was nestled in a hospital bed beside a sleeping Nymphadora. _

That had been the first instance. He should have said no. He should not have even agreed to stay with her. It was wrong, inappropriate, and completely out of range of anything real. And perfect too…

Since then, he had tried ignoring her. She deserved someone better, someone who wasn't so damaged. She was young and lovely. He was old…and a monster…


	2. Chapter 2

He took a sip of the fire whiskey and looked up from his book and into the fire. It was starting to get dark, not that it wasn't always dark now. Fog blocked out most of the light that ever reached Number Twelve, and the curtains were drawn. But the old clock in the hall chimed seven o'clock, and Remus was beginning to get restless. The whiskey burned down his throat, but other feelings were beginning as well. It was all too familiar for him. The maniac thoughts that came before the rising moon, the low-grade fever, the painful tensing in his muscles as if the wolf inside him was sniffing the air, waiting to spring forward. He raised a hand before the flickering light and saw it trembling slightly.

Yes, Nymphadora Tonks was on his mind much more than she should have been. There had been other instances of course. She had accidentally barged into the bathroom while he was taking a shower, intent on brushing her teeth, and seen him barely clothed. That had been embarrassing. She would brush up against him when they were together "accidentally" then smile as he moved away, blushing. She would always make him sound so cautious when they were on assignments together, make him laugh in ways he never had. There was something so flirtatious about her awkwardness. She was the kind of woman who could eat chocolate without a care in the world about what it might do to her hips. It was maddening. But were these instances? Or was he paranoid?

And then, only weeks ago…that night…

It should never have happened.

They were at Grimmauld Place, working with Mad-Eye, Kingsley, and the Weasleys, trying to sort out where to start in deterring Voldemort from gaining followers. It was late. Remus had been staying at Grimmauld Place keeping watch, and was using the spare bedroom in the very back of the second floor.

He had been just getting to sleep when there she was…

Standing in his doorway in a long baggy tee-shirt, her hair a violent shade of purple, and a grin on her face.

What happened that night was magic in a form that Remus had never known. They had started out talking about their lives. Tonks, about growing up a Black, Remus about growing up a werewolf. For the first time in his life, Remus was talking to a woman about his life. She didn't fear him. She listened intently, running her fingers over his hands while he spoke. She didn't cringe when their lips finally touched. Her lips were so soft…Nor did she hesitate in slowly unbuttoning his shirt and taking it off, pushing him gently backwards onto the bed, straddling him as the kisses became more vigorous, caressing every inch of his scarred and battered skin with the softest of touches while his fingers wove gently then desperately through her ever-changing hair. She didn't pause at the nastiest scars that adorned his body. In fact, it seemed to make her more eager.

She had whispered how much she wanted him, how much she loved him, and he had whispered back silently begging her both to leave and stay at the same time…He wanted to say no, to stop this madness, but with her soft, smooth body slowly grinding on top of him, something awoke in him that had not sniffed the air for a long time, and only when the sun began to weakly shine through the dirty windows, did they finally go to sleep.

That night should not have happened. Never in a million years should that have been acceptable.

The truth was, for the first time in a very, very long while, Remus Lupin desired a woman, and not just desired. He loved her.

But then he had seen her patronus…and he knew it had to stop. He had confronted her about it, how she was getting too close, too attached.

"_What do you mean we can't see each other? Remus, what is going on?" Her face was so troubled, it broke his heart. _

"_You're damaging yourself just by being close to me, Nymphadora." He cried, holding her shoulders. "This is wrong. This has always been wrong. I am a werewolf. I know it frightens you."_

"_No, it doesn't!" she yelled angrily, clinging to his hand. "I have never been afraid! I feel safer when I'm with you!"_

"_You shouldn't," he said, his voice breaking. "This has to stop." _

…_.Why?" she asked, her voice choking with tears. "I thought you loved me! I thought you were happy with me…" Remus tightened his grip on her shoulders._

"_I do…but I am wrong for you. We should have never gotten into this. I am too old. I have no job besides working for the Order. And I could hurt you…God, Dora, if I ever hurt you…"_

"_You wouldn't.." she cried, tears streaming down her cheeks. "You wouldn't hurt me. I want to be close to you. I have only ever wanted to be close to you, and you're afraid of yourself! How do you ever expect to be loved if you don't love yourself, first?" Remus was taken aback. She cried like a child, but her words cut him. _

_Looking into those big dark eyes, he held her close and hating himself with every word said,, _

"_Dora, If you want me, I will be yours, but I know….I just know you will change your mind…"_

"_Never." She said fiercely. _

Sighing again and taking another sip of whiskey, Remus leaned back and closed his eyes. Maybe he could get a few minutes of sleep before the moon rose. That would be lovely. Just a few minutes…

A loud, harsh knock broke the silence of the house, and Remus jumped about a foot in the air off of the chair. Groaning, and rubbing his hand through his tawny hair, he got up, laying his book open on the coffee table. Whoever was outside, knocked again and Remus began to feel apprehensive. Maybe it was the combination of the pending transformation and of the fire whiskey, but he felt paranoid.

When he reached the door, he asked,

"Who is it?"

"It is I, Severus Snape." Said a voice smoothly. Remus hesitated. Now for the question.

"Who is it that you hate most in this world?"

"James Potter." Answered the voice in the same smooth manner. Remus closed his eyes, and stood for a moment before undoing the four bolts, three chains, and seven locks that kept the door to Number Twelve sealed. He opened the door with a creak.

"Severus." He said, curtly. "What can I do for you tonight?"

Snape sneered. "Ah, playing house-sitter for Dumbledore tonight? I am envious. Some of us have real work to do. Those of us who can get jobs, that is." Remus motioned Snape to come in. He was used to his taunts. Better to ignore him. Tonight was not going to be easy as it was. Staying cordial was in both of their best interests.

Snape stepped across the threshold swiftly and looked around with his lip curling.

"That house-elf doesn't do anything around here, does he?" he asked to no one in particular. "Do they expect you to play the maid?" he asked.

"Humorous, Severus." Said Lupin with a smirk. "Will you sit down? We can talk about what you're really here for?" Snape continued to sneer, his greasy hair shining in the firelight. He took a seat opposite Lupin, staring at him.

"No, Lupin, it's actually because of you that I'm here." He said, pulling at a thread in the worn armchair. "Dumbledore asked me to brew this for you tonight. He thought you might be needing it." And from the folds of his robes, Snape pulled a goblet full of smoking purple potion and set it on the table.

"Kind of you, Severus." Said Lupin with a small smile. "Thank you."

"Do not thank me, Lupin." Said Snape, his lip curling, leaning back lazily. "Believe me, I did not relish the task. It is Dumbledore who cares what happens to those of us who fail to be _human._" He said this, watching Remus closely.

Lupin sighed. "Well, thank you anyway. Can I offer you a drink?"

Snape shook his head, and got to his feet. "No, no. I, unlike some, can't be kept idle. I have work to do tonight, I'm afraid."

"Very well." Said Lupin, getting to his feet. "You're sure?"

"Oh yes." Said Snape with a smirk, and he swept out into the hall towards the door. Remus sat back down and picked up his book again, glad that Snape was leaving. He had enough problems without Severus.

He was just getting back into his book, when he heard the floorboards creak behind him.

Snape was still there. In one hand he was holding a pair of the most vividly turquoise earmuffs Remus had ever seen. They were Tonks'. He would have known them anywhere.

"Yours?" asked Snape with a sneer.

"Nymphadora's" said Remus. "Where did you find them?"

"On the hook." Said Snape. They stared at each other for a few moments.

Snape put the earmuffs on the table, and casually said,

"You know, I've seen her new patronus." He eyed Remus closely. "It looks weaker than her old one, don't you think?"

"I wouldn't know." Said Remus carefully. Snape wanted to goad him on, but he wasn't going to play. Not tonight.

Snape licked his lips. "You must know what danger you're putting her in, don't you, Lupin? I can't imagine that monsters would make good lovers. Then again, I wouldn't know." He continued to survey Remus closely.

"You're right, you wouldn't." said Remus slowly. "One would have to have had a lover to know." And he turned his back on Snape. Snape's sneer became more pronounced.

"You know, Lupin, you never did strike me as the kind to stand up for yourself. Don't think I don't know about your little love affair with Nymphadora Tonks. Most people know about it, actually. It's funny, you see, Dumbledore seems to think it's _healthy._ A werewolf and a circus freak. You two should get your own show."

"I think you should leave, Severus." Said Remus coldly. "Now." But Snape stood still, his smile revealing yellowing teeth.

"Tell me. Can werewolves feel love? Or is it simply a chemical reaction of bestial pheromones causing a want to exchange bodily fluids?"

"You tell me." Said Remus, his voice, icy. "You're the chemist among us. Not very useful though, are you? Standing here insulting me, when you have such ah…._obviously_ important work to be doing." The two men stood facing each other, Remus breathing quickly through his nose. Snape, however, seemed perfectly content to continue jeering at him.

He walked over to the coffee table and picked up the whiskey bottle.

"Is the weakness of the patronus because you know she would never have you? A werewolf? A half-breed? And aging too? How old is she, Lupin, twenty-six?" Remus began to tremble with rage. Snape conjured a glass out of thin air with a lazy flick of his wand and levitated the bottle to pour some into it. Leaning against the fireplace, Snape pressed on, enunciating every word with malice.

"Or perhaps the trouble is that she _will_ have you, and you're constantly holding her off, begging her to leave you to your solitude, for fear of ripping out her throat while you make love to her."

BANG!

Snape went flying backwards into the wall, his head striking the floor on his way down.

Remus stood, his wand out, shaking from head to foot. White hot rage coursing through him like bolts of lightning.


	3. Chapter 3

Snape had gotten to his feet almost immediately, his teeth barred, looking slightly shocked. A maniac gleam was in his eyes when he said,

"Don't I? Did you really think that something like that could survive?"

Remus was white with rage. "It's none of your business, Severus."

Snape laughed, brushing himself off. "Perhaps not, Lupin, however you have just assaulted a Hogwarts teacher. Your friend Black never seemed to respect that kind of authority either, but seeing where that got him, I would have expected better from you."

Remus shot another jet of purple light at Snape, but this time, Snape was ready. With a flick of his wand, the light flew off to one side striking a painting and causing it to fall to the floor, and shot a jet of his own purple light at Remus, who ducked.

Both of their wands were raised.

"You don't want to duel me, Lupin." Sneered Snape, advancing. "There's no Potter or Black for you to hide behind here, no Dumbledore to keep you safe. You're feeble, weak…"

"INCARCEROUS!" bellowed Remus, and a tangle of ropes appeared out of nowhere, winding themselves around Snape's arms and legs, dragging him to the floor. He struggled against them, but they held him fast. Remus walked over to him, and said coldly,

"If I am so weak, I'd like to know how I have spent my life in hell while you have played the fool for Dumbledore. You say you joined our side when the first war ended, but some of us know better….some marks never come off, do they Severus?" Snape was twisting against his bonds, glaring at Lupin through coal black eyes.

"You have no inkling of what I have had to endure, werewolf." He hissed. And with a swipe of his wand, a deep gash appeared on Remus' left cheek, causing him to gasp and drop his wand. Snape opened his palm, and the ropes binding him slithered into them and disappeared.

Remus wiped his bleeding face on his sleeve, and reached for his wand, but Snape was too quick.

"BOMBARDA!" he yelled, and Remus flew backwards, striking the wall painfully on his way down. Before he hit the ground, Snape pointed his wand at him, holding him in place on the brick.

"I kept you alive, you know." He said silkily. "During your very short-lived term at Hogwarts. You would have died without me. Does that make you feel weak, Lupin? Your skills with a wand have always been inferior to mine. You know this. I am a Hogwarts professor. You were simply a fill-in so that you could pay your pathetic rent." Snape drew closer to Remus who was struggling, blood coursing down his face. "You are pathetic." Snape whispered, and he raised his wand to Remus' chest. Remus made a slashing movement with his right hand, and his wand flew up to him on the wall, just in time yelling,

"PROTEGO!" And Snape's curse rebounded on him, causing him to double over backwards, falling onto his knees. But as quickly as he had fallen, he was up again, his eyes flashing.

"Come on then, werewolf." He hissed. "We duel."

Remus stood, his wand out.

"Indeed."

They bowed shortly to each other, and raised their wands.

In seconds, they were moving, Snape glaring, Remus calm.

Remus was the first to attack.

"IMPEDIAMENTA!" he shouted, but Snape flicked aside the simple jinx lazily with his wand, and shot a retaliatory jet of white light at Remus who twisted his wrist in a circular motion and seemed to absorb it into his wand.

Spell after spell, jet after jet of light flew around the room, breaking things, as the spellwork became more complex. Snape looked angrier and angrier as the duel progressed, but neither could seem to lay damage upon the other. The two professors were impeccably trained, and as the spells became more original, more violent, a flicker of fear began to grow in Snape's eyes. Lupin's strength and speed were extraordinary. Blowing on his wand, Remus sent what appeared to be a herd of flaming golden horses at Snape, which singed his black robes, setting them on fire. In the small amount of time he took to put it out, Remus had struck again, this time with a jet of blue light that knocked Snape over once again, pinning his hands to the floor with icy bolts.

He had never felt fury like this before. He had never engaged in picking on Snape when they were at Hogwarts together, but Severus had struck a nerve. And hard.

But Snape wasn't finished. After slowly, painfully getting to his feet, he waved his left hand and his wand in a complicated looking pattern and a silvery cord shot out, which slithered around his body, and then curled itself around his black wand tip, becoming a whip of shimmering light, his face flushed.

Remus stood still, his wand ready, but he was getting tired. Snape had been pushing it when he had said that his skills with a wand were superior, but this was beyond anything Remus had ever seen. Snape smiled nastily, and flicked his wand-whip. With the speed of lightning, it struck Remus across the chest, and white hot pain ran through him. It was as though a lightning bolt had struck him. Every inch of him seemed to be on fire. The pain was so intense that he faded into a grey area for a few seconds, feeling the stirrings of the wolf desperate to spring forward. A canine growl ripped from his throat, as he sprang back to his feet, for the first time, wolfish instincts kicking in.

With a violent slash of his wand, Snape went rigid, and hung suspended in midair. Remus approached him, wand pointed at his chest, and Snape recoiled at the gold irises that kept flickering in his opponent's eyes.

"You-you're changing!" he cried, drawing as far away from Remus as his invisible bonds would allow. "Take the potion, half-breed! You'll kill us both!" But a twisted smile lit up Remus' pale face, and spoke in a voice that was completely his own.

"Oh, I won't change until I'm ready, Severus. Not until you've heard me.

"The difference between me and Sirius, Severus, is that Sirius was restricted to the confines of this house, unable to make any kind of mark that he wanted to in the world. Sirius had to endure your taunts, your lies, while he had to sit and watch as you made life hell for his godson and any he cared about." His wand tip came dangerously close to Snape's face, which was the color of sour milk.

"The difference," he went on. "Is that I have no intention of listening to you try to disparage me, to insult Nymphadora, or insult Sirius' memory. Therefore, I think it is important that you understand that I am not confined to this house, so I suggest that you believe me when I say," and he met Snape's cold black eyes with his own grey ones. "…that I am _not_ a person to pick a fight with." And with that, he released Snape from the invisible bonds that held him.

Snape fell to the floor, and gathered himself up, pushing his greasy black hair out of his face. He was pale, and shaking with fury.

"You'll pay, werewolf." He spat, advancing on Lupin, who kept his wand aloft. "I swear to you, the next time you dare cross me, _I will kill you._" And in a swish of his billowing robes, he sent the forgotten Wolfbane potion flying onto the floor, its contents splashing the dusty carpet.

Remus watched him stalk out into the hall and heard the door slam, making the house echo with the noise.

Breathing heavily, Remus collapsed into the chair. It had been a while since he had dueled like that, attacked in anger, but he felt good…triumphant. The consequences could be severe, but at the moment he wasn't too worried about them. He had won. For the first time in a very long time, he had won.

The fire was dying in the grate, and the grandfather clock in the hallway chimed eleven o'clock. He was surprised he had not changed yet. But then again, it was very cloudy, and though the moon coursed through his veins, he felt remarkably calm. He had no potion. That was irritating, but he hadn't been expecting to have it in the first place. He felt so calm at that moment that he picked up his book again and had just started reading when he heard light footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Remus?" He looked up. There in the doorway was Nymphadora Tonks in a pair of purple striped pajama pants, a white sweatshirt, and the pinkest pair of bunny slippers he had ever seen. Her hair was its normal shade of brown, and her eyes were bleary with sleep. He had completely forgotten she had been staying at Grimmauld Place.

"Nymphadora." He said, getting up. "What's the matter?"

"I heard raised voices. And then I got cold." She said, rubbing her eyes. "What's been going on? Was someone else here?"

"Severus." He said. She looked worried and came further into the room.

"What did he want?"

"Nothing. Just an old chat between old school friends." He said, smiling, picking up her hands and rubbing them. She raised an eyebrow.

"You were friends? Why don't I believe that?"

Remus shrugged with a smile. Her brown eyes traveled to the painting that had fallen to the floor, to the sheen of sweat on Remus' face, to the glutinous potion spilled on the carpet.

"You dueled him, didn't you?" she asked in a deadpan voice. Remus looked at a spot over her head.

"A little." He said.

"Did you win?" she asked, looking up meaningfully into his face. He squeezed her hands.

"A little."

She giggled, and then looked concerned.

"What is that on the floor? Potion?"

"Wolfbane." He said quietly. She looked worried.

"You don't have any tonight? Oh Remus…."

"It's fine." He said shortly. "I'd rather lose that potion than lose to Severus."

"You sound like Sirius." She said, scowling in a very "Molly-ish" way, and Remus rolled his eyes.

"Trust me." He said. "You would have dueled him too if you had heard what he was saying. It bothered me. I asked him to leave. He refused. We dueled a bit. Nothing serious." Tonks looked bothered, but couldn't keep a smile from sliding onto her heart-shaped face.

"Well, I always knew you were a beast." She said playfully. "But picking a fight with Severus Snape? Bold." She said, burying her face in his shoulder. He took her hand and began to dance slowly with her on the spot.

"I try." He whispered. She picked her head up.

"Ok then. Well, before dueling wolves and snakes so rudely interrupted me, I was kinda sleeping. So, I think I'll go do some more of that now. Can you keep that fire going? It's an ice box upstairs." And she kissed his cheek. He brushed her forehead with his lips. His face darkened.

"Lock the door, Dora." He said, and there was urgency in his voice. "It'll be any minute now."

"Wotcher." She said, and began to walk out, sadness in her face. "I'll be back early to fix you up. I've got plenty of dittany upstairs." Remus nodded and shut the door. His hands were shaking so hard he could hardly hold his wand and point it to the door.

"_Muffliato" _No need for her to hear what was to come. With several more jerky waves of his wand, he put shield charms on all of the paintings, and shrank all of the furniture so he wouldn't destroy it once he transformed. As he stood in the middle of the room, moonlight beginning to show through the drawn curtains, the wolf tearing at his body, desperate to get out, he thought,

_Humans are not so different than werewolves. None of us can control who we are, what we are, what we feel. We do not choose our enemies, or who we fall in love with. The Wolfbane potion would not have made me less of a werewolf. The dark mark on Snape's forearm does not make him less of a man. _

And as his changing eyes roamed over the spilt potion on the carpet, he wished he had it back, to ease some of the inevitable agony of what was to come. But thinking of the look of complete humiliation and fury on Severus' face as he beat him, _flattened _him, really, in the duel, Remus decided with a grim smile…

There were worse pains to feel.


End file.
